Insightful quotes by a smart person – George Carlin.
  • At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • Electricity is really just organized lightning.
  • If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
  • May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
  • Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
  • If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
  • What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?